Contents! Home! Relationship and Life Advice Column! Genius Jenny April 2007 Advice!
Midwest Second Hand Style!
Genuis Jenny May 2007 Update!
Jenny. I just can't get along with my dad. Every time I drive to my parent's house, we always end up fighting. I try to talk about things he is interested in, and I try to get along, but he is very angry and always yelling at me. He even refuses to say please or thank you! I just don't know what do to anymore.
Almost Cut Off
Dear Almost Cut Off
I think its time to sit your dad down and have a talk with him. Ask him first to just listen to what you have to say and not interrupt. Tell him in a calm matter than his immature behavior is upsetting you. Use specific examples.
Explain to him that you would really like to have a better relationship with him and that you are willing to try if he does. If he seems receptive to what you are saying, that's great! Try to take baby steps to bridge the gap that his actions have undoubtedly created between the two of you.
If he seems unwilling to find a common ground with you, then you have every right to avoid contact with him. Try to be as mature as possible. If he insists upon behaving like a child throwing a tantrum, then treat him as such. Ignore him until he can use his words in a productive matter. Unfortunately we cannot change the behavior of others. The only thing you have control over is your reaction to him. Don't stoop to his level.
Jenny.
I'm a single mother and I'm back in the dating pool. I have a serious boyfriend, Mr. XL, and I love spending time with him, but he doesn't really dig my kid. My child even told his babysitter that he hates Mr. XL and wished that I would marry Mr. Small. I really connect with Mr. Small and he is a wonderful guy who loves my child, but Mr. Small is REALLY SMALL. What should I do?
Size Does Matter
This is a complicated problem. Being a single mother has got to be the most challenging job around. You are responsible for raising this child and being the source of stability in his life. It can be pretty confusing to a kid when Mom starts dating.
I believe that it is best to keep your dating life separate from your child until things get serious. You definitely do not want to introduce every guy you go out with to your kid. That creates a sense of instability to a child and can cause serious problems. Since you are already in a relationship, I think first you need to have a long talk with Mr. XL. Explain to him your concerns about his relationship with your son.
You said that XL "doesn't dig" your child- Does that mean he's mean to him? If he his mistreating your son in ANY way, you need to end the relationship. Your child should be priority numero uno. If anyone is damaging him in the slightest bit, it is your job as his mother to protect him, even if it is at the expense of your hot sex life. If XL isn't being mean, but just a little cold, you still need to have a conversation about this. You and your child are a package deal, and he can't have one without the other. He needs to find some sort of common ground with your son in order to remain in his life. Once you and XL come to some sort of understanding, if you decide to keep trying to make the relationship work, you should be very open with your son. Explain that you care about him above all else, but XL is important to you as well, nd you'd really like it if the two of them could be friends.
Try to do some fun activities with your son and XL and see if they can warm up to one another. If XL isn't willing to try to get along with your child, he doesn't deserve to be a part of his life. As far as Mr. Small is concerned, whether or not a relationship ever develops between the two of you, it sounds like he's an important part of your son's life and that is great! Single parents need a support system around them, and its wonderful that you and your son have found a friend in Small. As much as I'd like to tell you lose XL and get with Small, I know its not that simple. Although, I will say that I believe that kids have an innate sense about people, and if red flags go up for your son when XL is around, maybe that should tell you something. Sex is a big deal, but more important than the size of a man's member is the size of his heart, especially when kids are involved.
Dear Jenny.
I work in an office and I love my job! There is only one problem. One of my coworkers always makes really rude comments to me. One time I got my hair done over the weekend and she said, "It's not as bad as I thought it would be." How can I resolve this without changing jobs?
Working on my Resume
Working on my resume
You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT let one jerk chase you out of a job that you love. Next time this sorry individual makes a cutting remark, you need to call her on it. Tell her that what she said is rude and that you do not appreciate it. She should take her mother's advice- if she can't say something nice, she should hold that sharp tongue of hers! If she is still a jerk even after you confront her, I would recommend avoiding her if possible. If this isn't an option, you can take this problem to her supervisor. She has no right to make you feel uncomfortable!